Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
