I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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