Fuck appropriateness.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
