puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
