I'm so fucking centered right now
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
