Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
