there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
