and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
You're so nebulous sometimes
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
