Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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