thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
