I wannas sexs uuuuu
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Randomize
