Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
