It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
