hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
