If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
