She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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