I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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