let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
