Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
