I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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