maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize