Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
