Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize