kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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