and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
