Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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