Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Randomize
