last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
one might say we're banned from that church
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
