pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
