I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize
