it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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