i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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