It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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