the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
