The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
