Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
