"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Randomize
