I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize