Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
