You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
