Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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