she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Randomize
