I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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