Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i just google imaged poop.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
