Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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