sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize