Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
