it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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