Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
