But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
