i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Dicks are not precious.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
