come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Randomize
