You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Randomize
