im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
