I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize