I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
