Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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