I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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