i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize