girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize