U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Randomize
