i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
