He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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