she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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