I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i just made my gag reflex go away.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
