Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
